[Short Story] The Regret

  

It was 5pm in the evening. Prithvi made the big decision and started his journey downwards from the 50th floor of the bank building which is his workplace.

         He has been working at a huge commercial bank for 25 years. He started as an Assistant Manager and rose to the level of Vice President of the bank for the entire region of South India. Till 2 months before today, anyone would have agreed that he had a very successful career. But all that changed in a single day.

         A financial fraud of never seen proportions was exposed a couple of months earlier. Entire banking system was taken for a ride by a trader, who was highly intelligent and crooked. Many people who had been working with him and had no idea what he was up to were shell shocked when the scam was revealed. Prithvi was one of them. Though the investigation revealed that he was innocent, he had a bigger problem to face- the society.

         Allegations badly damaged his reputation at the bank. People were still nice to him in the formal settings. When given a tiny fraction of freedom, they revealed themselves. Random strangers would give weird stares to him. People whispered when around him. People signaling each other about his presence became a normal part of his life. There were less and less people seeking his advice or opinion about anything at all. People would feel entitled to take moral high ground in discussions with him, however incorrect they are. He tried fighting all these. But it is not a bullet he can dodge or an arrow he can run away from. This was like cancer which goes undetectable early on and makes life unlivable when it becomes sizable.

         This morning he decided he had enough of it. He knew this decision would change his life forever.

         He is on the 45th floor now. He was thinking about the scam. “I shouldn’t have believed him blindly just because he was a big celebrity. I should have pushed back when the President of the bank said he did not need a background check.”

         But all this regret was futile. He knows he cannot change anything now. This evening, he had his whole life replaying in his head. It is feeling like a self-review of his life till this point.

         He is on the 30th floor now. “I should have made better career choices early in my career. Probably I should have taken more risks. It would have paid off in the long run, however discomforting they could be in that moment”, he thought to himself.

         Despite his illustrious career, he still felt he was an under-achiever. But this thought didn’t stay for long.

         “I should have given more importance to my personal life. Tennis. I always loved the sport. Should have learnt to play it. And pets. It would have been wonderful to have a puppy. Even more importantly, I should have stayed in touch with friends more than I did. Maybe meet them at least once a week”

         He knew he would enjoy these things all along but always thought there was not enough time for all these things. In retrospect, he felt he just did not treat them as a priority.

         “My most wonderful memories are when I am around my family. Yeah! The unconditional love of family! Is there anything better than that? Smile of my little children, the affectionate gaze of my parents and the warm touch of my love were the best things in my entire life. We can face the entire world on its head if we have loved ones by our side.”

         He has almost reached the ground floor now. After all the wandering, his mind finally settled on his family. Faces of his parents, children and wife were stuck in his mind. They wouldn’t just go away. They are all he can think about. In fact, that is all he wanted to think about. His heart became an ocean of sadness when his mind turned to the future instead of the past.

         "Maybe career and money are not as important as I always thought. Maybe there are so many other ways to live with peace and happiness. Today, maybe I shouldn’t have decided to end everything by committing ………"

         Before he could finish his thought, he thumped into the floor fracturing his skull, ribcage, and knees. In moments, he was drowned in his blood. Everything around him turned red and everything around his family pitch-black.